The Silent Opera

http://video.nytimes.com/video/2010/02/26/t-magazine/1247467181063/t-exclusive-marina-abramovic.html?ref=design

I was first introduced to Marina as a senior in college through the unsearchable Jackie Milad's Visual and Performance Arts class. To date, it is one of the best classes I've ever taken. Marina and the audacity of her "Imponderabilia" piece shocked me. Two artists standing in opposite sides of a narrow doorway, NAKED -- as the only entrance to the museum, speaks volumes. Given, the starkness of the scenario the spectator must first decide IF he wants to merely enter or not. If the answer is yes, he must then decide HOW he wants to enter: facing Marina, or facing ULAY. You cannot enter frontally, as this is the sign of indifference. To truly experience an artists work the spectator must face him. To inspect an artist work is to inspect his very nakedness. If you find their doorway of nudity an impedance and the decision not to enter is made, then the spectator has rejected the artist, and cannot experience his art, and ultimately: cannot experience himself. Some artists use extreme subtlety or extreme examples to make their point, but here Marina brings the interaction between artist and spectator under a electron microscope and magnifies it for all to see. Like the starkness of a magnified cellular golgi apparatus, one is either immediately repulsed or intrigued - both are appreciated by the artist. Indifference is the true insult.

Now this silent opera. It is a drama of one woman challenging the world to face her as she sits for 7 hours each day at MoMA in simple ballroom gowns. It is set to the music of silence. The spectator can sit opposite Marina as she reclines in silence. The eyes talk. Marina has always had a obsession with silence which a young me once perceived as outlandish. But in the last year or two I have wondered what my world would be like if my words were far fewer. Without the distraction of formulating words and sentences, would my eyes and brain see more?

Perhaps.

Marina is clearly a genius. I wonder if she loves God.

The Tree of Life

Part of this paradigm was borrowed from the "discussion" we had at church today. Through this illustration I had an epiphany.

Which farmer in trying to deal with a problem tree just deals with the fruit? Just picking the fruit does nothing to quell the problem because the tree can just keep on bearing that problem fruit.

Pluck this behavior, and then another one just grows. Pluck this type of addiction, and another just grows.

Choke the porno habit fruit, but then a lusting fruit just grows afterwards.

Pluck the fruit of over-eating, but then an addiction to exercise develops.

If a broken pipe keeps gushing water unto the floor, do you just keep on mopping to solve the problem?

If electricity is not being supplied to your house, does changing the light bulb solve the problem?

Again, which farmer in trying to deal with a problem tree just deals with the fruit? Picking the ugly fruits from the tree and casting them away does not heal the tree, because the fundamental mechanisms that produce the fruit has not been dealt with.

So who among you have been constantly changing light bulbs, mopping the floor and dealing only with the fruit?

THE BEHAVIOR is but a manifestation of deeper, underlying mechanisms. The fruit merely tells you something is wrong, it's NOT the actual problem.

I believe Jesus understood this more than anyone else! Sure, one could stone the adulterous woman, but one would only be dealing with the BEHAVIOR/FRUIT, and not the actual problem.

This...blows my mind every time!

More to come.

Forgiveness, Racquetball and Disney Songs

Forgiveness: [n] the act of excusing a mistake or offense.

Forgiveness is an act of the offended. It is a priceless jewel mined from the offended's heart which is given to the offender. The mining process is often a painful and muddy one. The drilling, and the introspection required is enough to weaken the soul of the offended. The offender must understand that extending forgiveness costs something. In the wake of an offense a price must be paid, it doesn't matter who pays it, but something must be paid by someone. Be it the offender or the offended, or some third or fourth party --- a price must be paid. Atonement == a price. Forgiveness == a price. Even more costly is total forgiveness.

The difference between forgiveness and total forgiveness is the aftermath. After total forgiveness one may still replay the person's offense to friends and family periodically. For example:

Jody cheats on John with her old boyfriend. John finds out and confronts her. Jody admits and repents. After days of pain sorrow, John decides to forgive Jody. Jody is elated she is forgiven and will not have to pay the price of losing John (a sweet and gentle soul). A few days later, Johns meets his friend Jeff. Jeff asks how things are between him and Jody. John admits they've had rough patches. Jeff wants to know the specifics, and John complains that Jody cheated on him. He then goes on to expose Jody's offense to his mother, sister, and one other friend -- even though he has forgiven in some sense. However, he continues to milk some measure of payment from Jody by exposing her shame and guilt to his friends and family. With total forgiveness, John, himself, makes the full payment.

With total forgiveness -- there is no replay of the offense to anyone. The offense is essentially forgotten. If anyone asks, John says: We've had our rough patches, but we're working them out. Then John moves on. This is total forgiveness.

Racquetball: [n] a game played on a handball court with short-handled rackets.

Believe it or not, it's on the racquetball court where I find heaps of inspiration and insight.

Disney Songs: [n] music derived from Disney movies or similar in style to such. Example: Part of Your World from Little Mermaid.

A friend, in re-injecting Winnie-the-Pooh into my world-view, precipitated a Disney binge in me that would rival that of any pre-adolescent girl. It all started with me wanting to hear pooh bear songs. Hence, I typed in "winnie-the-pooh" in Pandora and created a new radio station. Immediately, the radio started with Disney. They went from Beauty and Beast, to Gaston, to Circle of Life to Hakuna Matata, but when they got to this one --- I knew I was gone!

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All these miracles of life, forgiveness, racquetball and Disney songs --- converged in the most unlikely place on Wednesday. The racquetball court of the Cooley Gym.

We sang Disney songs as we played (we normally sing 80s songs), I won of course, while my friend Mauricio showed me what true and total forgiveness is.

The grass is not greener on the other side?

Preface: I recently received a $40 H&M gift card.

Dilemma: I needed a party dress for Friday night.

Proposed Solution: Use the H&M gift card to buy said dress on Thursday night at Towson Town Center.

Projected Ending: I will walk out of H&M at 7:30 with a satisfactory party dress.

What Actually Happened: On neither of H&M's 2 floors did I find said dress. In fact the entire collection at H&M was worthless. I begin to wonder why people waste money at this story.

7:45 pm: I headed over to the dreaded Forever 21 in desperation looking for an affordable party dress. Floor 1 was useless, but at the top of the grand stairway I found the most delightful green number. I proceeded to inspect the green number, and found it to be very pleasing. But then I began to wonder about the other hidden treasures the 2nd floor might be harboring. Picked up 3 more numbers and headed to dressing room.

8:15pm: still standing in line waiting for a dressing room to become vacant.

8:45pm: only green number proved to be worth purchasing.

8:50pm: I begin to wonder about green number. It couldn't be the best choice out there. There must be better options in all of this vast mall. I begin to panic. What if I buy this green thing and then happen to saunter by a window of another store with a better green thing. Oh no! And my initial desire was a yellow number. What should I do?

8:52pm: standing in line at Forever 21 to purchase green number. The girls in front of me are amusing. One of them holds up a cute white dress. Her friend asks: "What size is that?". To which girl says: "Medium". Friend says: "B***H, you're in denial". Girl was probably a size 20. If this line moves along maybe I can check out Macy's.

9:00pm: At Macy's inspecting the grass.

9:10pm: Found a black, white and yellow number that would make Michael Kors weep. Oh -- and then a polka dot number -oh no! I can't resist polka dots. And what is that -- the most adorable frilly number. AAAH -- the yellow dress I've been dreaming about! The grass is greener on the other side. This is precisely why this cancer of indecision refuses to go into remission in this mind of mind.

9:20pm: Sprinting to the dressing room as the store closes at 9:30pm. Guy says to girlfriend: "Maybe you can find something in this section". Girlfriend: "No this is for the younger crowd, so they only have trashy stuff.". She walks out the door. Guy looks back longingly at the dresses.

9:22pm: At cash register. These dresses aren't trashy. I never buy trashy things. What is she talking about? This is Macy's. This is where all designers come to die.

10:45pm: Made it home without getting mugged.

Atonement Part Deux

Atonement is not about the offender. It's about the offended. Regardless of who pays the price, a price must be paid. Whatever brings satisfaction to the offended is often independent of the offender. We can turn it and twists it all we want, but the moment we make atonement about us we lose sight of what atonement really is. Atonement is not for the benefit or the relief of the offender. It's not about the mitigation of our guilt. After atonement the offender can still feel guilty. The offender's feelings of guilt pre- and post atonement are irrelevant. Relevance lies in the satisfaction of the offended.

Hence we can pour pure gold on it, love on it, achievement on it, contrition on it, but if none of these meets the offended's standard for atonement, then they are all useless. The quantity or quality of your guilt is irrelevant. The quantity and quality of your gold is irrelevant. Anything other than what the offended demands is irrelevant and useless.

Atonement

How do we atone for a crime? Should the mode of atonement be determined by the offender?

When you are guilty of a crime

it follows that you cannot set the time

Your meager $5 payment

doesn't meet the $1000 for atonement

The degree of sincerity attached

can in no way match

Do Better Now, My Child

He came to my desk with quivering lip-- 
The lesson was done.  
  "Dear Teacher I want a new leaf," he said, 
   "I have spoiled this one." 
I took the old leaf, stained and blotted, 
And gave him a new one all unspotted, 
And into his sad eyes smiled,   
  "Do better now, my child."

I went to the throne with a quivering soul-- 
The old year was done.  
  "Dear Father, hast Thou a new leaf for me? 
  I have spoiled this one."
 He took the old leaf, stained and blotted, 
And gave me a new one all unspotted, 
And into my sad heart smiled,  
  "Do better now, My child."        
  
  -- By   Kathleen Wheeler

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It is the love of Christ which compels us. 

It is the love of Christ which convicts us.

It is the love of Christ which brings us to repentance.

It is the love of Christ which pardons us.